|i opened a portal
||[Aug. 7th, 2008|06:51 pm]
I dont get to write much these days. The cosmos is keeping me amply distracted from doing my own thing lately while it teaches me things that it knows i will pass on to others. such is life.
when i was a young child, i was open to the world of imagination.
i believe thats very normal
some children, somehow, actually step into the mirror and awaken channels to other dimensions.
at childhood, we know what we are doing.
we sometimes open doors to the paranormal, which will not ever be shut for the remainder of our lives.
i opened several portals as a child. I am not sure what triggered the rest of the portals to open, but they opened.
incedentally, you know, ufo's are not able to be seen by everyone - the real ufo's are the ones most of us cannot see. thats my strong observation.
its my feeling that the life "out there" operates on such a fast vibration, it is in another realm tho occupies the same relative space and time
i've opened up portals to the after life, to heavenly beings, what you might call ufo's and aliens and to archetypes and gods of all sorts. I've opened up portals to what we call demons as well. these for all i know, each live and dwell in unique layer of our onion called experience. some layers are not far off from our own and can run against our solid experience and some layers require us to travel into states of mind which remotely resemble what one might call normal.
kids say the darnedest things. they say those destined for greatness know their destiny from a young age. this is not to en grandeur my name, but by great, i mean to be shown great things, and to have a great calling.
As a child, I was compelled to ask and speak outloud, as i always spoke to the paranormal world, that i would be used for a high calling. noone in my family told me to do this and i did it in secret. At the age of about 8 I had an innocent openness and understanding of spirit energy, healing, prophecy, afterlife, angels, demons, aliens, and other things such as musical instruments, sexuality and the wilderness. So, from a young age, i had an open and very annoyingly curious mind, im sure. Since that request, the cosmos has not failed to live up to what i have requested of it. It has guided me on many journeys, accompanied by subtle and profound experience. I've been influenced by and have influenced a large number of special people, hand chosen for my path.
And the path still is lit for me as i travel onward. As a child, there praying to the gods, and the higher beings, i asked that i be used no matter what the cost to myself.
Well, i learned very quickly to ask for mercy and gentle grace from god on my journey, because the heat can get pretty hot. You have not because you ask not. this is the nature of the cosmos. there is no manifestation without a request. remember, god does not hear our words, but our prayers lift up as incense smoke to god, our very essence communes with the mind and power of god.
i was taught later in life the importance of acceptance. you cannot summon gods powers if you are rejecting your own present gift of life. you can't reject what the cosmos has given you just because you dont understand it, and expect the cosmos to give you something new, that you will also, not understand. "be fathful with a little and i will make you faithful with much" simply means that when you are ready, and your heart is right, you will get what you are able to handle. accept what you have, be thankful for it, and you will see the heavens open up to you.
our eyes and minds can't always see ahead of ourselves. we can project images of fears and desires, but not so easily are we able to project faith. it is something different. much different. faith is dead without action. even the act of projection with faith brings faith alive. faith is the single most pure and powerful tool we possess. it is a tool, because it obeys our will. but only the pure intention can awaken it. you must have a pure notion, without fear. without faith, the cosmos will not be moved in your favor. there is plenty of junk out in the cosmos ready to be transmutated into manifestations of some kind, and without faith, you will suck that junk right into your life like a sickness and potentially spread it to those around you. but with faith, we have a different view of our future. we see whatever we want to see, and we accept it as reality. our breath and emotions say that our focus is accurate, and also reinforce its manifestation.
anyways i am a little off topic.
as i grew i dont believe the portals ever closed. but the portals to nothing to care for your emotions, and had to learn my way around a harsh reality. i did always attract beautiful talented friends, both the most popular kids as well as the least popular geeks. i learned from both and gained from both, but i always chose the geeks to hang out with because i felt more free to be myself around them, and that brought me a great sense of well being. but i had to learn the pains that any kid has to learn. we moved almost every year it seemed. and i changed schools and friends quite a bit. i was also in church once or twice a week it seemed. eventually that became a bit stale and troubled, tho it lasted into my late 20's before i finally backed away from church. visions, dreams, knowledge, and unique people continued to bless and guide me and teach me. I had my share of depression, confusion, awkwardness, and fears.
as i grew older, of course my language, perception and communication level increased, but not on all levels. I studied a variety of disciplines and topics. i began to write my thoughts, my terrible confused thoughts. i was blinded and distracted by love and romance and sexuality, but my mind was also hungry for learning and exploring everything i could get my hands on. but my social skills came along more slowly. eventually i learned how to behave amongst great leaders as well as common small groups of various types.
I went through a cleansing and i am glad that phase is over. i vomited out many emotional troubles and this was painful and long. but i lved to see the end of it, and now my emotions are transformed into higher more elevated vibrations and i only hope that they continue upwards.
now when i experience ignorance, fear and immaturity, it doesnt stab me in the heart as much as it once did, and i am also able to face it usually face on. there are some people that i can't face sometimes, but this is usually not personal towards them, its just that i have times when my spirit is in need of inner counsel and i can't function outwardly until ive gone deep inside myself and made myself alone until i can commune with my higher self and process one by one, mostly on a deep subtle level, the notions that are recorded in my head, waiting to be sorted out. i believe that those notions sit there and wait for an eternity until you go in and open them up and process them. if you dont, they cause sickness and distress. not many people are willing to go uncover events that have happened to them in the past if they are traumatic.
well my spirit to write has left me for now.