| my tumblr |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|05:27 pm] |
tumblr.com/mojokiss
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| rock star girlie photos tour |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008|03:47 pm] |
Hey Live Journal - I'm goin on tour to take rock star girlie pics for the next couple of weeks to a month - so follow my progress!
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| dots. if you care |
[Oct. 15th, 2008|08:46 am] |
so tonight i think sort of finally realized something. there's a world inside these pictures. its like alice in wonderland. its like looking in a mirror, and stepping into it. life in frames... in one frame. life made up of key frames. the frames that matter, the ones that stand out in our head. the vecotors of land marks and the points in a coloring book... connect the dot, connect the images, the important ones are the dots. the dots. its all about the dots. is your image a dot? or is it just an imaginary line in the head of the world? shoot dots.
so it all comes down to an image being important. thats all. so what makes it important? we dotn always know, we just know its important. we make it important, somehow, we refine and design and bind the scene... together, and apart. until whats left is right and whats left out is wrong. it all adds and subtracts to equal imporance.
we want to make something important and be part of something important and we want to be important.
An image isn't real but its proof that somethings real, something in our dreams, its a breath we feel, this image, its the wind and its the evidence of spirit and thought
thats why talent is so important, and passion in an image. action, flow, expression, drama, substance, true content, substance. importance. something to look at, and to be seen.
i could elaborate but my words would be too obvious and the foolish arent meant for my words. the wise listen and understand |
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| pic |
[Oct. 15th, 2008|07:43 am] |
latest - julie anne
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| new pic - photoshop and dancing girls |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|10:07 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alternative, art, beauty, dancing, dish, girls, lighting, photoshop, studio, tampa, texture | ] |
| [ | mood |
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| nerd money |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|02:40 am] |
so i feel like everyone else these days. finally. im terrified of my life. welcome me to the family. thanks.
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so i was thinking a minute ago about money and how to not use it. the key is to create a new system of value. this is, initially, a purely fictional venture.
but picture a town, with a dirt floor, and horses. guy wants to buy a horse. he has no money but has some stuff, in his shed that he's not currently using and would be willing to trade to the guy that has a horse. so he offers the guy an old lawn mower for the horse, the guy says nope. then he says ok i'll throw in a garden hose. "nope" ok ill throw in a chicken. "nope" ok ill throw in an old lamp "nope" ok ill also let you have my belt buckle "nope - i dont need any of those things" - ok ill throw in a plow.
so the guy finally says "well i dont really need any of those things, but together, they have more market value than this old horse. i sure wish i had room for all of them, and even if i did, neither of us has a carriage to move your stuff.
DANG! that SUCKS! - 'cause i'd sure love to give you those things for that horse. i really need a horse so i can take this girl i like to the beach and ride with her in the splashing salty waters.
then into town rides a man in a suit and nerdy glasses and hair parted in the middle all greasy and curly. he gets off the horse and says "I see we have a little problem here that i might be able to assist in the solving of"
he takes out a piece of paper and a pen... and an ink well...
he says that he has space for all that shit the wierdo wants to trade for the horse, and that he would be willing to give the horse owner something of value that he could use or store more easily.
they both look stupidly at the nerdy guy.
he tells them he has a barn where he can store the junky crap the junky guy wants to trade for the horse, and he pulls out a suitcase full of various valuables. there's a watch, some chunks of gold stamped with weight and purity amount, and a set of fine barbers knives, some reading glasses, a ruby, some cocain, and some copper wire.
the dude with the junk says - so i dont really want any of that, i want the horse, so why should i trade with you?
"duh" the nerd says... "if you trade with me for the right things in thisbriefcase, that horse guy might be more able and willing to do the deal with you, then you can take your lady for a ride in the salty surf."
"well i dont know what the horse guy wants!"
so the nerd turns and holds the case up to the horse guy and the horse guy says, "well i do like some of these things. i would be willing to give my horse to you, nerd guy if you want it for the cocain, and the gold."
nerd guy says "i already have a horse and i sure as hell dont wanna feed and house yours and let it grows older while im trying to sell it. I'll lose more value than i gain, but you go ahead and take the cocain and some of the gold and i'll take this guys stuff and put it in my barn because i can trade his stuff one item at a time and actually get even more valuable things than he gives me because thats what i do. then i liquidate and trade everything i have for smaller more secure valuables and head to another town. i suppose i could stay in one place, but i tend to go where im needed most."
horse guy - "ok lets do it"
wierd junk guy - "ok lets do it"
nerd guy - "ok ill get my carrige and load all the junk into my barn and then ill give wierd guy the coke and gold and he will then come to you and trade it for your horse. its a good thing i have this space to store his stuff"
so they all do as the nerd guy said, and they all get what they want, while their overall value goes down and the nerd guys value goes up.
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so what in the hell am i writing this for? eh... good question, i dont really know. I'm insane remember?
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maybe its because i want to make my own world and get free from the system im so enslaved by. maybe i want a better life. i wish i lived on an indian reservation. how do indians pay for internet? do they use beads? i dont get it. if they use US currency, whats the point of being on a reservation. if they wanna get internet how do they pay for it without using US currency? what am i getting into here? something i'm sure. how about this. the indian on the reservation wants internet, but the internet company is not in the business of trading, so isn't interested in giving internet to the indian for his beads or turquois jewlery. so maybe the internet company should create a branch in its services that trades for goods and keeps them in a storehouse and trades them out as needed in order to manage the value of the company. or maybe the indian can give his beads, and corn to his cowboy friends over the river and they can point their wifi router over the the reservation so they can get internet that way. YAY everyones happy.
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that is one wierd thing for me to write.
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but i like where this is going. maybe i can create a new theoretical system of trade.
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i'm very interested in this. im also very sick in the head lately. i dont feel well at all these days.
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i'm gonna stop here |
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| tara ryze |
[Sep. 9th, 2008|01:53 am] |
Hey people so this is tara ryze... and she lives with me. i like this last set of pics its not bad. her make up and outfit are hot. i like the post work i did too.
used a larger soft box on the left and smaller hotter on on the right.
go to www.mojokiss.com for more stuff.
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| i opened a portal |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|06:51 pm] |
I dont get to write much these days. The cosmos is keeping me amply distracted from doing my own thing lately while it teaches me things that it knows i will pass on to others. such is life.
when i was a young child, i was open to the world of imagination.
i believe thats very normal
some children, somehow, actually step into the mirror and awaken channels to other dimensions.
at childhood, we know what we are doing.
we sometimes open doors to the paranormal, which will not ever be shut for the remainder of our lives.
i opened several portals as a child. I am not sure what triggered the rest of the portals to open, but they opened.
incedentally, you know, ufo's are not able to be seen by everyone - the real ufo's are the ones most of us cannot see. thats my strong observation.
its my feeling that the life "out there" operates on such a fast vibration, it is in another realm tho occupies the same relative space and time
well
i've opened up portals to the after life, to heavenly beings, what you might call ufo's and aliens and to archetypes and gods of all sorts. I've opened up portals to what we call demons as well. these for all i know, each live and dwell in unique layer of our onion called experience. some layers are not far off from our own and can run against our solid experience and some layers require us to travel into states of mind which remotely resemble what one might call normal.
kids say the darnedest things. they say those destined for greatness know their destiny from a young age. this is not to en grandeur my name, but by great, i mean to be shown great things, and to have a great calling.
As a child, I was compelled to ask and speak outloud, as i always spoke to the paranormal world, that i would be used for a high calling. noone in my family told me to do this and i did it in secret. At the age of about 8 I had an innocent openness and understanding of spirit energy, healing, prophecy, afterlife, angels, demons, aliens, and other things such as musical instruments, sexuality and the wilderness. So, from a young age, i had an open and very annoyingly curious mind, im sure. Since that request, the cosmos has not failed to live up to what i have requested of it. It has guided me on many journeys, accompanied by subtle and profound experience. I've been influenced by and have influenced a large number of special people, hand chosen for my path.
And the path still is lit for me as i travel onward. As a child, there praying to the gods, and the higher beings, i asked that i be used no matter what the cost to myself.
Well, i learned very quickly to ask for mercy and gentle grace from god on my journey, because the heat can get pretty hot. You have not because you ask not. this is the nature of the cosmos. there is no manifestation without a request. remember, god does not hear our words, but our prayers lift up as incense smoke to god, our very essence communes with the mind and power of god.
i was taught later in life the importance of acceptance. you cannot summon gods powers if you are rejecting your own present gift of life. you can't reject what the cosmos has given you just because you dont understand it, and expect the cosmos to give you something new, that you will also, not understand. "be fathful with a little and i will make you faithful with much" simply means that when you are ready, and your heart is right, you will get what you are able to handle. accept what you have, be thankful for it, and you will see the heavens open up to you.
our eyes and minds can't always see ahead of ourselves. we can project images of fears and desires, but not so easily are we able to project faith. it is something different. much different. faith is dead without action. even the act of projection with faith brings faith alive. faith is the single most pure and powerful tool we possess. it is a tool, because it obeys our will. but only the pure intention can awaken it. you must have a pure notion, without fear. without faith, the cosmos will not be moved in your favor. there is plenty of junk out in the cosmos ready to be transmutated into manifestations of some kind, and without faith, you will suck that junk right into your life like a sickness and potentially spread it to those around you. but with faith, we have a different view of our future. we see whatever we want to see, and we accept it as reality. our breath and emotions say that our focus is accurate, and also reinforce its manifestation.
anyways i am a little off topic.
as i grew i dont believe the portals ever closed. but the portals to nothing to care for your emotions, and had to learn my way around a harsh reality. i did always attract beautiful talented friends, both the most popular kids as well as the least popular geeks. i learned from both and gained from both, but i always chose the geeks to hang out with because i felt more free to be myself around them, and that brought me a great sense of well being. but i had to learn the pains that any kid has to learn. we moved almost every year it seemed. and i changed schools and friends quite a bit. i was also in church once or twice a week it seemed. eventually that became a bit stale and troubled, tho it lasted into my late 20's before i finally backed away from church. visions, dreams, knowledge, and unique people continued to bless and guide me and teach me. I had my share of depression, confusion, awkwardness, and fears.
as i grew older, of course my language, perception and communication level increased, but not on all levels. I studied a variety of disciplines and topics. i began to write my thoughts, my terrible confused thoughts. i was blinded and distracted by love and romance and sexuality, but my mind was also hungry for learning and exploring everything i could get my hands on. but my social skills came along more slowly. eventually i learned how to behave amongst great leaders as well as common small groups of various types.
I went through a cleansing and i am glad that phase is over. i vomited out many emotional troubles and this was painful and long. but i lved to see the end of it, and now my emotions are transformed into higher more elevated vibrations and i only hope that they continue upwards.
now when i experience ignorance, fear and immaturity, it doesnt stab me in the heart as much as it once did, and i am also able to face it usually face on. there are some people that i can't face sometimes, but this is usually not personal towards them, its just that i have times when my spirit is in need of inner counsel and i can't function outwardly until ive gone deep inside myself and made myself alone until i can commune with my higher self and process one by one, mostly on a deep subtle level, the notions that are recorded in my head, waiting to be sorted out. i believe that those notions sit there and wait for an eternity until you go in and open them up and process them. if you dont, they cause sickness and distress. not many people are willing to go uncover events that have happened to them in the past if they are traumatic.
well my spirit to write has left me for now.
talk later. |
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| basic healing |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|12:59 am] |
hey - normally i make my blogs all fancy and embellished but im not gonna do that here this time - i just wanna give, for those of you who like the things i have to say, a quick little blurb about health and wellness.
there are many areas of health and wellness. But his one starts at the beginning, or the bottom.
youve heard a number of ideas, so on and so forth and i have nothing new to say - just advice on personal experience - and a voice that say "this must be true"
Ok first off - BAKING SODA. lets get right down to it
you might as well throw out the following products because baking soda replaces them
Toothpaste
Mouthwash
Deodorant
Antacids
Shampoo
Insect Bites
etc
hey - save yourself a lot of trouble. use baking soda - it works MUCH better than those other things and its natural. The Egyptians used to use it a lot.
How does it work? Im not sure - except i know its an Alkaline Salt.
There have been doctors that say if you apply it to some cancers, it kills and removes the cancer within days.
another thing you need to know about baking soda is that it was not invented by arm and hammer. ;) its from the ground.
and you need to know it corrects and raises the pH of our bodies. This is important these days when acid levels are going up. the pH of our bodies should be around 7.4 or 7.5 the best way to achieve this is through diet - eat sprouted grains and raw fruits and mildly cooked veggies and raw greens.
well anyways while we are on the subject of "iums" like sodium, let me tell you some more
sodium is important in the body for controlling water levels. there are also some other iums that we need. one is potassium and then there is magnesium, and i believe selenium and cesium as well as calcium.
they say sodium is bad for you because of its risk to the heart and for some it is. when your kidneys stop expelling sodium, it will become toxit to your body by raising your blood pressure and putting stress on your heart because it puts too much water in the blood stream, or too much blood. But we need sodium and i would like to say - it doesnt hurt to use natural salts. there are many! i believe lithium is another one, which i haven't studied YET. also chromium is an element important to the body and mind... but im getting off topic now.
Take care of the body and it will take care of you and give you the window to use your mind for higher things such as happiness and capability - but you cant use your mind for those subtle beautiful things until you apply basic services to your needy body. it has needs and standards. and it had physical principals. your mind is able to apply energy and intent to less basic physical things as well. I would just focus on the body first and just have faith that you are going to change your body and then your lifestyle.
anyways that is all really have time for now - and you should absorb all that.
peace!
-mojokiss
p.s. i have made fire out of water... nothing special about that... but i know it can be done because ive done it - and everything i tell you i try to base off of personal experience. |
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| artists need space |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|07:38 pm] |
All artists need space. This is a place where they can work without being scrutinized, judged or influenced by any other person. A place where they can quiet down the outside world and listen to their inner voice.
I've been serching for this space for quite a long time and I have nearly killed myself several times in serch of it. for some reason, its been a hard place to find. As an artist, i dont yet have the money i need to rent places and spaces that i really need.
I have lived in cars, slept in parkinglots and woods, and i have dwelled on couches and floors. Ive lived in garages and industrial work spaces. I've even tried living in a cave. I've walked 40 miles in one day on several occassions. I like to walk when i feel trapped. sometimes i had no option but to keep walking because there was no place for me to stop and rest. I've walked through the middle of the wilderness with no moonlight just the dim white of a sandy dry riverbed to lead me. I walked with a bleeding intestine and pain in my belly. I walked with bags with wheels that eventually fell off from the traveling. I walked in shoes that had no insulation and the icey rain would get into them. I've slept in fields. all because i could not find my space.
and for all my serching, i finally found that space. and i had the money to move and i even go accepted to move in - which never happens. And i worked my ass off while i was moving in, and had no place to rest except a lawn chair, or the dirty floor - till i was able to clean up and get a couch. then i slept on the couch and it folded out into a bed - it hurt - it was a rough sleep. my body ached, from the lack of sleep, and having to get up earlier than i had ever gotten up. i drove hours to and from a job i was doing, and i made no money whenit was over. i got my rent money stolen and my personal ID's stolen along with it and all my manuscripts i had been keeping i had writen and drawn by hand about designs and inventions. I had to find a way to pay rent, and finish my job all with no money and pain in my body and what felt like a fever in my brain. I got stronger - i started to book some work shooting and some playing music in a recording studio. I booked a lot of shoots.
I let a friend stay with me because she was complaining about her lack of her own space. I really didnt wanna give up my space... my space that i had waited so long to have. my space that i had dreamed of, during all of those long walks where my feet would all by fall off, where i was never assured of any place to rest my heavy load of tools and personal belongings that bent my back... and now, i had storage area, and a yard, and closet space, and my own washer and dryer. I had my own bathroom and shower and hot water and electricity.
but i had another person coming to stay with me as a guest. I was doing a good deed and was sure i would be able to lay down some rules and be able to have my own space. and that she would be encouraged and be able to use every day to build up her new life here in this town, and work and save up money and meet people and get a real place to live all her own, that she could be proud of.
well, she was decorating in my place before she even moved in. she even asked me if i would wait until she got here to paint the walls so that she could do it with me. she bought supplies for the kitchen and some decorations. she said she liked to decorate and fix places up. I didnt let her go all out like she wanted to. I didnt let her bring her dad up with his truck and her large tv and futon. I didnt let her feel like she was really moving in. I told her 2 months, and even that felt a little long to me. I told her i wasnt looking for a roomate and i cant live with anyone. I told her i will need my space a lot. I told her this is my studio, not a normal house. I assumed she would be gone every day out looking for work, working, or socializing.
wrong!
she has not been feeling well since she got here. she has not been able to work more than one day a week and model once in a while to build her portfolio and also make a little money. but all of this, isn't the heaviest burden.
she wants me to pay attention to her, to spend time with her. to look at her, talk to her and even sleep next to her. what did i get myself into? i tried to sleep on the couch and she got upset. in fact, she would get panic attacks and cry and carry on with the smallest mention of there being rules or regulations in the house.
I became afraid to talk to her because my issues would upset her so much.
I became a prisoner in my house. my sacred "space" that i had searched for all this time, was never mine, tho i found it and paid for it and dwelled in it, it was taken away. I became depressed and preoccupied with what to do with this complicated guest. I didnt want to hurt her because I did care about her, but i also was torn between giving her a place to stay which she seemed to desparately need, and having my own sanity. I debated ways of getting my "space" back.
Since i could no longer talk to her about the problem, i talked to my friends, and anyone who would listen. they all said "just kick her out". but i knew if i did that, i would feel bad for inviting her in, and she would probably put me in that imaginary list of foes who had given up on her, when in reality she didnt listen or prepare for the realities of the situations she was getting into. I never was able to find the great answer i was looking for. There was no way out and time was already completely run out because rent was due in one day and i didnt even come close to having it. i had missed a trip to NY all expenses paid to do some work because i had fallen behind and one thing after another came up in our domestic situation where i wasnt able to find time or the mental state to finish my art works that i had been paid to do. my mind had deteriorated to the point where i could not function any more. I canceled paid work left and right right the body cancels its finer functions in order to save the core, hopefully to come up with a resolution for the problem. i just wanted my space back.
she said she would pay part of the rent because she had a couple jobs coming up. I had told her upfront that i didnt want her paying rent at all. I just wanted her to pay half of the electric bill because she used the dryer twice a day to press her clothes. I wanted her to save her money so she would be able to move out. but after 6 weeks, she still had no new work and in fact wasnt able to work the job she already had because of her condition, and she came home after working about an hour that day.
what had i gotten myself into.
she offered to help with rent but i told her that amount of money would still not get me through the month. in fact, what i was thinkin was - there is no way she is becoming my roomate. i would rather kill myself because i cant have a roomate, much less someone as moody and particular as her.
I wasnt able to sleep. I would lay down next to her and toss and turn - my mind would be aggitated and my body would buzz with alertness. my mind would race and try to find a solution to the problem. there was no solution. everyone just kept telling me "just kick her out. just kick her out. just kick her out"
i looked for every possible solution than that, because that seemed so mean - to do - to someone so fragile.
i could just make rules. no that would make her cry and have another panic attack and she would think she was foolish for caring about me in the light of me having rules that kept out activities apart.
i could go away for a while. no no no i dont have the energy or resources, and besides i cant just go away - i have a lot of stuff here and i can't leave that stuff here unless i pay rent and i dont have rent money.
it had become not about my life but about her life. she was younger than me and had more problems so it seemed. i was the older wiser and more disciplined, but also had serious and delicate obligation of my own to give my self to. i put my things on hold, at great risk and peril, to give her room to adjust to her changing life.
and so, you may be wondering... what happened?
shes asleep in my bed, and here i am writing this blog as i debate on when and how and where i will have our next confrontation about "this isnt working out" and "my life is going down the drain" and "i dont know what to do about this any more" and "i really need for you to make other plans"
and more crying
and more complaints of panic attacks
and more talk about how she feels she fucks everything up
and more talk about how she feels she should just give up
more of her holding her head in her hands
staring blankly into space
dwelling on the fatalistic natures of her life.
she can't handle much. and that is why my hands are tied. and that is why im letting myself be pushed over the side of the bridge into the icey ohio river with every minute that passes. i have already been pushed and my body starts to fall.
now what? its too late. |
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| fucked up distruction |
[Jul. 30th, 2008|11:37 pm] |
so
im NOT an asshole... because i warn people of how and who i am.
but i AM an asshole because i would rather do a little harm NOW than a lot of harm later.
i'm a realist. this means i confront reality with acceptance and an open mind. others who run from reality and hope it goes away, always butt heads very hard with me and together, we can't make a difference. so i dont work with those types.
i'm practical. i dont tend to ACT out of emotions such as fear or a burst of joy. i act out of what makes sense to do for ME. I know myself... and that knowledge is what i test my opportunities against.
sometimes i want to scrape my face off when i get stuck with people that im not compatible with. problems build up that never get solved and i lose more of myself each day and i cant think or be productive - in an environment of fear there is no rationality or practicality... only fucked up destruction |
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| Home sour home. |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|12:48 am] |
Well hey fuckers - yeah im not in a good mood. howd you guess? Well my house isn't all i cracked it up to be when i was moving in here - like i dont know a few months ago. i havent' stopped to see how long imve been here cause i haven't had a change to stop and do so.
I had a lot of plans for this place when i moved. Wow my own fucking house. all the shit ive been wanting to do - all these years, now i can do. wow i was happy about that. the move almost killed me - i took on a huge work load and did most of it for free, not to mention helping my brother move out of this house and then moving my self into this house all at the same time.
sigh - well here i am now - there is a girl living with me - and i can't live with a girl - or anyone for that matter. I knew this - but i let her stay here to help her out - just to help her out... thats all - i knew it would not be good for "us" - and it hasnt been. not at all. I cant deal with the closeness... the sharing of intimate space... not now, not ever ... never ever ever - is this news to me? no - i already knew this. is it news to her? no - but she, like most every [person], didn't listen. didn't want to listen.
I dont do relationships. Why? because they do not work. They dont work for me, they dont work for you - if you think they do its because you are willfully blind to what you could be... you dont think you can survive or be happy alone.
we are never alone in this world.
I take a lot of pride in my space. I use my space, i manage my space. it isn't always clean. not even by my standards. But i do clean once in a while.. and when i have had my own spaces, i've cleaned and rearanged like every wek or so when id have company - it was fun for me. it still is. but i can't do that when someone else has a hand on my plow. id rather do it my way unless i need help... then i might find others who have like minds in the WORK that i do. I believe in working togehter... what else is there? coming home and snuggling together? i think thats really silly.
Also I believe in having my own space especially if i am seeing someone. Its not good, and i mentioned this before - its not good for people who are getting to know one another, to live toghether. even roomates who dont have to be intimate, need their space. they need to be out of the house most of the time and stuff like that - just to avoid the stagnant shadows and cobwebs of idle hands.
How long will this drag on. She came here not listening to the terms. And she says with a yell shes not moving.
no matter how much laughter we share, i am not going to be able to function with another person in my house... never. no matter how good the food is, the hugs, the sex, whatever - its not enough - nothing is enough for me to put down all my tools and go ride off into one last impoverished sunset of desparation with some girl living with me... I'd go broke because i can't work and be myself and do all the things i have willingly placed on my plate through years of pain and suffered introspection if i have to let someone else who has no interest in those things have a hand on my steering wheel or brake pedal.
Ive thought about leaving, ive thought about a lot of things - but i dont want to make an enemy and i dont want trouble. i did this to be nice and to help her. i was honest and she gets moody and dark and mad and sad etc. i dont know if she thinks about suicide. probably. Ive been trying to help her... to give a little more thani usually give. but she chooses to see the bad - and if there is no bad, she makes it bad - something - makes it up... somehow.
now what am i going to do? Ive traveled and been homeless dozens of times over the past few years. why? to find myself. to break free of the blind shitty world. I'm not a push over. to go against me is to have a huge war... to stand in my way is to get in front of a train. You can't just tell me to stop or to go in a different direction. you can get on and you can get off but thats about it. |
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| a week of luxury |
[Oct. 28th, 2006|04:25 am] |
well - tonight was good news in my world. I visited with a band during their rehearsal and made some new friends. I am looking forward to following up with these guys.
I'm not gonna write much cause im tired...
Im gonna be house sitting for a week starting tomorrow - in north east jersey - same place i always stay - ill just be alone for a week.
who knows what craziness might happen.
I'm looking forward to the solitude and home comforts and peace. I need to use it to get some new things going.
I'm setting up some photoshoots too
ok nite nite |
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| Written at Penn Station |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|01:27 am] |
Here's some lyrics i wrote today at penn station while listening to a guy play and sing
___
I'm not a business man - in an office land
Tho i have to make it anyway I can
I am not a preacher man - for the holy land
But I gotto speak my mind the best way that I can
wherever I am
wherever I am
whenever I am
whatever I am
I am not a lucky man most' the time
I am not a guitly man most' the time
I am not a prophet man most the time
I am not a filthy man most the time
wherever I am
wherever I am
whenever I am
whatever I am
bridge:
and whenever I find myself
its a surprise
and whenever I lose myself
its only in my eyes
its only in my own two eyes
where ever I am....
where ever...
whenever I am
whatever i am... |
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| Little Things |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|05:08 am] |
Little things in my life can mean a big difference in my attitude.
And usually there are no big things that can really make a big difference.
It all comes down to many various little things.
This puts me in mind of a busy squirrel.
Timing of events.
Staying busy.
Eating well.
Expressing my feelings.
Staying physically active
Creating things
Cleanliness
Being Social
Resting
Quiet
All of these things are vulnerabilities for me and potential strong points to help me function without a fatal malfunction |
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| Societies Love Squares |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|04:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Depech Mode | ] |
some say-
I hate people
everyone is so stupid
noone loves me
nothing's going my way
you always make me feel stupid
everyone says you're an asshole
nothing i do is good enough for you
you never support me
These are paradigms of infant thinking.
I like to call them fractional thinking...
because you are only using a fraction of your mind when you say things like these.
If a quick fix can't be found, it is brushed under the rug, without patience, and so perpetuates a habit of whitewashing an issue... or that of unplugging the seatbelt light as it wear. Then there is no need to wear a seatbelt is there? Why didn't someone think of that sooner?
Please... as if.
What is so bad about dealing with an issue as tho it is not square, like most urban fascilities? This goes for large societies as well as small families and dating couples just the same.
Think more... smoke less. |
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| Livejournal vs Blogger |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|03:22 am] |
Ive decided that i will continue to have both a live journal and a blogger.
The reason for this is because I am capable of writing a lot - and this will give me an opportunity to have a couple of sepparate productions going on -
this is good - because one will be completely candid - for people who more or less know me - or who will get to know me through reading... which is this one - live journal. And the other is going to be contructive productions based on specific subjects - and that my blogger - and i have two there - one is an ongoing one that i've had up - and i will post old journal entries there as well as make new ones - it will be philosophical spontaneous works and selected entries from the past that I can talk about and present. Its like a showcase of my best ideas, and finished concepts more or less. Its something that pros can take something away from, and high thinkers who are not so concerned about my personal vulnerabilities but more so about the plain content speaking for itself.
Just like here - im rambling on - youll get a lot of that here - thats what this is for - for me to ramble on and never check myself. Blogger is different for me - Im gonna use it to present things after i scap them around in here.
The other blogger topic and sepparate url is about Industry things from my personal experience. I will talk about my music primarily in that one as well as put some things in about my photography and lifestyle... but not a place for me to brainstorm and keep all my vomitations like inhere.
Both are priceless in some form - to me both are truely useful. Its nice to have two sepparate url's so i can choose and police how they get accessed roughly.
Its nice to be able to workin two or three particular modes of expression
the only trouble i could run into now is carpul tunnell from typing too much.
Ok so here are the links
You already know this one -
mattmayes.livejournal.com
mattmayes.blogspot.com
mojokiss.bogspot.com
Oh i just noticed i can put back dated stuff in here - i wonder if i can do that in blogger too.
Ok this is fun - like a behind the scenes look at my life - its nice to keep the two sepparate!!!! yeah - i like it a lot
instead of convoluting my thoughts - this will slightly organize them for those - and for me - who might not want to see the whole picture at once but who want to zoom in to a clean clear focus on something - on one of my continents..
3rd world, 1st world, etc.
im nuts. |
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| pairs |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|01:38 am] |
bad things
come in pairs
evil twins
and eyes that glare
behind my back
two have conspired
they took me down
we burned in fire
best friend
best love
my two
warm gloves
wrapped around
where i feel
your intentions
were conceled
bad things
come in pairs
i've a right
my view to share
yours may be
different indeed
but to my heart
pairs made it bleed |
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| 2 much |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|01:38 am] |
Too Much Information
too much information
your not a friend
to those that sin
too much hesitation
now that youve seen
the truth in me
now i dont even care anymore
those girls dont seem aware anymore
and everyones so paranoid
of filth
they see it in each eye and hear it in each
word
I met you in a dirty club with naked all around
you said you knew that we were meant to meet
you knew because your voises told you so
and then i spoke - you said that i should never hesitate
with things i say - you love to hear the truth
you want to scrape my brain
you sounded very strange
and even tho i warned you - i said you'll probably be
just like the rest of the... deep but oh so weak
you ran into the traffic - not knowing that your bones
are not the type of things to stand up to a
bumper of a ten ton truck a double layer bus
stop me if you've heard this one before
too much information
your not a friend
to those that sin
too much hesitation
now that youve seen
the truth in me
now i dont even care anymore
those girls dont seem aware anymore
and everyones so paranoid
of filth
they see it in each eye and hear it in each
word
why do you advertise your fishnet wares
why do you verbalize distaste for squares
but then you cross the line
from yours to mine
and see im out of line
and you say - I'll be over here
too much... |
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